“It’s a Beale!” – Rangers agree terms with the guy everyone says made Gerrard a good manager
They’ve only gone and agreed terms to bring him in as the new replacement for Giovanni Van Bronkhorst! “You’ve got yourself a Beale” are potentially the words said by the ecstatic Rangers board to new manager Michael Beale after agreeing terms. Everyone is really excited to see what the future holds for the team. […]
17 year old “finance enthusiast” makes it clear he is not a financial advisor and the financial advice he gave was not financial advice.
What exactly is financial advice? According to “CryptoG0D69” (real name Timothy “Timmy” Tucker, 17 from Nebraska), it was definitely not financial advice when he told everyone he came in contact with online to mortgage their home to buy into tesla and bitcoin since they were guaranteed to go up in value. Timmy would appreciate it […]
Boris Johnson reportedly had fingers crossed when promising to leave office. Plans to stay on indefinitely.
As is well known among legal scholars, having fingers crossed while making a promise nullifys all responsibility for keeping said promise.
Several people injured and two hospitalized in ‘critical condition’ after industrial strength toenail clipper goes haywire at local hair salon
MAYHEM – Earlier today an industrial-strength toenail clipper went out of control after a disagreement with the Salon owner, possibly about equal pay or something. The toenail clipper was not available for comment but we caught up with the salon owner Stacy: “We told it to calm down and stop but the clippers just kept […]
More important news from The Jobby
The Power of Serena Williams: An inspirational story that may change your life
Mike from Doncaster started a business in January this year which was badly affected by the Coronavirus lockdown. He could have gone into bankruptcy and it looked like he had made a huge mistake. Then something fantastic happened. Mike discovered he could just pretend to be 23 time Grand Slam champion, Serena Williams. “It really […]
“House party ban devastating for business” says local ketamine dealer Charlie ‘the bagman’ Wallace from Glasgow’s West End
(The photograph above has purposely been blurred to provide anonymity for Charlie Wallace the Ketamine dealer who lives in the West End at 21C Dumbvale Avenue, Finnieston, Glasgow, within ‘G3’ postcode area) For the first time, Charlie speaks out and reveals the devastating impact the house party ban has had on his business. “When the […]
“It gets a bit technical further ahead” warns man with Coca-Cola t-shirt and socks on his hands to seasoned hill walkers
Scottish Munros are renowned for their beauty and challenge. More and more people are taking to the hills to give Munro bagging a try during lockdown. Each year people who have never done them before, make their first attempt. A minority of which will have come unprepared because they have no idea what they are […]
“UK trade deal with Somali Pirates post Brexit sounds risky but it might not be that bad” Peter, 27, from Newcastle
The Government’s new plan to partner with Somali pirates when we leave the EU has come under fire from various people but Peter from Newcastle still has some optimism. “Sure it sounds risky and it’s not what I signed up for when I voted to leave. But what other choice do we have? Can’t exactly […]